i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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