Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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