All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
