Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
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Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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