new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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