i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
