i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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