I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
