I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
