I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
