He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I can't put those talents on a resume
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
