you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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