no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
