But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
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This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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