Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
