I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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