remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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