I'm really into asian looking animals
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
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