Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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