I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
