i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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