As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
smell my finger.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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