Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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