so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
