you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
