HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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