Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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