I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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