Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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