fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
