I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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