have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
