When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
