I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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