For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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