I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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