that's an acceptable place to lick
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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