why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
