Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
