you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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