Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
