Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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