How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
God gave him joint rollers for hands
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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