you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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