I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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