That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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