Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
