Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
