i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
