you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
