i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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