Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
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