when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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