it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
