i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
