So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
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Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
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I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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