do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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