I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
