I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
